Outsourcing Solutions
by knives4cash
Summary: Yang has new assets at her disposal. Hilarity ensues.


Part sixty of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose" .

* * *

It's a dark and stormy night… Well, maybe not stormy. Unless you count the dreary mood set upon us by the hostage situation. And come to think of it, it's not that dark either; the city has plenty of lights around, and the docks have moonlight, so visibility is pretty good for midnight.

...So it's a pretty well-light and fair-tempered night.

"Okay, Blake, what's the sitch?" I ask as my partner, risking copyright infringement and crouching down on top of the massive tower of ship containers. All the exciting stuff seems to happen at the docks around here. I wonder if there's some sort of criminal culture surrounding loading docks.

"Right, the White Fang is holding hostages in Warehouse Six," Blake explains, motioning towards the warehouse in question. There are a few dozen thugs armed with small armaments and swords, all wearing their White Fang Masks ™. "And we're going to rescue them. Luckily, I already have a plan."

"Great, let's hear it," I encourage. Blake always comes up with good plans! It's like some sort of divine force is making us teenagers competent in tactics or something, because I certainly don't remember getting trained in thinking.

"I'll use my rope-swinging features on Gambol Shroud to hook onto that crane overhead and swoop in, catching the thugs off guard. Then, I'll perform a wide-radius strike on the closing crowd, knocking them all out-"

"Hang on," I interrupt. "Won't that slice right through human and faunus bodies? I mean, your blades are sharp enough to cleave through an Ursa," I reason. After all, we're much weaker than the Grimm.

"No, don't worry. They'll conveniently be knocked out, because we're teenagers; and we shouldn't be seen killing onscreen," Blake informs me.

Makes total sense! "Continue," I offer.

"So I'll knock them all out, and while the reinforcements are rushing me, you run in and untie the hostages. How does that sound?" she asks, perfectly content with the setup.

Nodding, I agree, "It's a great plan, Blake. Buuut, I have an idea of my own."

"Great, I'll go ahead an-" Doing what I think is a very rude double-take, she stutters," Wait, what? You? You have a plan?"

What a great coworker.

"Yeah, I could just summon the Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword," I tell her.

A few seconds pass before she registers what I've said. "Is this some new foreplay lingo?"

Okay, now I'M disappointed. "Look, when we were on the train-"

"The one where we decided to divide our forces and make ourselves vulnerable instead of taking on each boss as a team?" she quickly clarifies.

"Yeah, that one," I verify. "So when I got knocked out by the short girl, I somehow summoned this Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword. Anyways, she's really strong and can kick buttloads of butt."

Pouting, she considers my proposal. "I don't know, Yang."

"Come on, she's really strong and scary!" I advertise. "Plus, she's got this REALLY long sword!"

Sighing, Blake offers, "I suppose we could try."

Awesome! Leaping off, I perform epic flips and junk, landing with grace and throwing my arms out to the startled thugs. "Oh no! Look at how much distress I'm in! I'm in sooo much danger and distress and am such a damsel right now! Look at how tropey I am!" Dropping to the ground, I perform my award-winning death scene.

That draws them close, and the Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword even closer. From the blood-red portal that materializes in front of them, she emerges, Really Long Sword in hand!

A few epic swings later, she has dispatched all of them. And with another portal, she's gone once more.

Hopping to my feet, Blake joins me. "That's one Mysterious Lady," she observes.

"I know, right?" I heartily rejoice. "She comes to my aid, no questions asked! She just thinks I'm knocked out and bam! She does all the work for me!"

Yep, there's definitely no foreseeable downsides to this! I mean, it's not like there's going to be any more events like this!

* * *

"It feels like we just had an event like this," Blake begins on yet another well-light and fair-tempered night. "Okay, Yang, here's the deal," she starts off. Pointing to the fancy yacht that is currently docked in yet another harbor. As we watch the fancy henchmen and women in suits walking on board, she informs, "The stolen scroll housing _Single Linear Vector Quantity Lacking Magnitude's_ latest hit single is being held on that yacht."

Pausing for breath, she collects her thoughts. "Now, my plan is this: I use my super speed to run across those conveniently placed platform objects such as planks and crates, land on the boat, use Gambol Shroud in a wide-radius attack to sweep the thugs on deck overboard. Once to top deck is clear, you hop on board and distract anyone else that might come along while I run downstairs, grab the scroll, and rendezvous with you." Looking to me, she finishes, "We'll turn it over to the authorities once I've made a copy for myself."

Huh. Kinda sounds like live-action piracy. So, I guess just piracy. "Yeah, that sounds good and all, ooor I could just summon the Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword again?" I offer.

Shoulders slouching, I can clearly see the vision dying in her eyes.

"It would be super easy to summon her," I honestly tell her, trying my best to put on a comforting smile.

Briskly slapping her weapons down on the concrete, Blake firmly sits herself down and crosses her arms. "Just summon her already," she sighs in exasperation, refusing to make eye contact with me.

Haaaang on a minute, I may be no Casanova, but I can sense that my woman's a bit unhappy! "Right, kittycat, what's the problem?" I gently ask as I sit down beside her.

Grunting, Blake reveals, "I just feel that, as a team, you and I aren't working together now that you've got this Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword working for us." Looking to me, she explains, "I feel that your new ability to summon this Deus Ex Machina is overshadowing my abilities as a huntress."

Smacking this cute girl right on the lips, I reassure her, "Blake, you and I will ALWAYS be a team, you got that?" Upon seeing her smile, I gladly offer, "How about this: It's midnight, we're tired, we want to go home and snuggle up. I'll summon the Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword and have her take care of everything, we'll call it a day, and the next crisis we're in, we'll use ONLY your tactics, okay?"

Smiling, Blake decides with a nod, "That sounds like a fair deal."

Awesome! One more kiss for luck, a quick dash across the harbor and onto the boat, one overly-dramatic call of despair, and blamo! The Mysterious Lady with The Really Long Sword appears and resolves the plot like a true Deus Ex Machina, and we don't even have Latin in this universe!

* * *

"Okay, Blake!" I cheerfully begin, slapping her on the back as I join her on the balcony overlooking the beachside. "Here's the situation! Team CRME is having their beach visit filler episode!"

Sure enough, Roman and Mercury are showing off their toned, rockin' bodies by wearing speedos and playfully playing a playful game of Play Ball with the new, Official Play Ball Ball ™ ! Available for only ten Lien, or free if you steal it!

And it would appear that Cinder and her dark skinned companion Emerald are having themselves some hot sunbathes in their sexy, anime-esque bathing suits, soaking up the cancer-causing rays of life and death.

"So I see," Blake observes, with an emphasis on observing Cinder. The badder, the hotter, as I always say.

"Right, these four individuals are probably the most powerful baddies we're going to face for the next two volumes, and they're probably responsible for a tonne of off-screen deaths. They're super dangerous and hyper-lethal. They may looked almost-naked, but we know that Cinder has enough hidden power to level an entire city. If we so much as punch her, our entire skeletal structure could disintegrate!"

"...huh," she ever so thoughtfully murmurs. I'll bet she's forming a brilliant strategy as I think! "Yeah, we're heavily outnumbered, outgunned, and would become surrounded."

"Perfect fighting conditions for Team Bumblebee, amiright?" I heartily encourage, loading and locking Ember Celica. "So, what's the plan, champ?"

Hesitating, Blake decides, "I think this is one of those times where we should use the Mysterious Woman with The Really Long Sword."

Hah! Aha! Hahaha! Ah man, Blake is just hilarious. "Nice one, Blake!" I jollily laugh, knocking the wind out of her as I playfully slap her on the back. "But a promise is a promise! We're going to kick butt the old fashioned way, so let's get this show on the road! What's the plan?"

"Yang, I don't know if we can-" she begins before I bring her to her senses!

"Blake Belladonna Long, you are my TEAMMATE!" I formally and zealously declare! Clutching her by the shoulders, I continue, "With our combined powers, there's nothing we can't do! Something, something inspirational feelings! Inspirational speech on friendship and feelings and whatever else you'd find in an anime!"

Now she's inspired! Showing her pearly whites with a smile, she declares, "You're right, Yang! We can do this without ANY backup and with just our light armaments, our total lack of body armor, and our small ammunition stocks!" Turning to face the threat, she declares, "We'll do a full-scale charge and defeat all of them!" Leaping into the air with a graceful flip, she valiantly orders, "CHAAAAAARGE!"

Yes! That's the spirit! Leaping after her, I race down the beach! We're unstoppable! Look at 'em all! They're so terrified of us that they're letting Cinder march forward and take us on by herself! Aha! Hahaha! Ahahahaha-

* * *

Beep… beep… beep… beep…

Hello Darkness, my old friend. Well, technically it's artificial darkness produced by this full body cast…

Hello Artificial Darkness, my fake friend. I should add you on Basebook with all my other fake friends.

Ow. Ow. Ow, ow, ooow. The only pain worse than this was when Blake didn't want to renew our Fishing Net Flix membership. Over nine-thousand shows and movies about fish. That was the life.

"Aaand we expect at least two weeks of casts," Ozpin continues with his medical rant. "Along with four weeks of physical therapy; it's going to take a while for all of your ribs to repair themselves."

"And… what about… Yang's right hand?" Blake faintly asked, voice muffled by the full-body cast. Of course, I have one too, so it might be an audio issue on my end.

"Oddly specific, but all of the bones there are broken too," Glynda answers. "Expect the same time for recuperation."

"Darn," Blake sighs. "I really liked that hand. It was really good at… things."

"Too much info, girls," Ozpin curtly informs us. "I think you both have learned a valuable lesson today," he baits.

Blake daringly suggests, "There is no victory in strength alone?"

"Always outsource any problem you can't solve with violence and force!" I correctly answer.

There's a brief silence.

Sighing, Ozpin declares, "Those could be seen as valid views on life if they didn't come from your mouths. Goodnight, girls."

"A bit harsh," Glynda murmurs as I hear them moving away.

"They're the ones who took on an entire extremist group! If anything is harsh, it's their lack of common sense!" Ozpin criticizes as he slams our hospital room's door.

Ah well, I guess the drama's over for now…

"Confound it, Yang," Blake mutters.

"NOW HOLD ON!" I scream before buckling to the pain, oooh the pain! "This time, it was YOUR fault!" I remind her. "It was YOUR plan!"

"And it was your refusal to summon the Mysterious Woman with The Really Long Sword that forced that plan to come to fruition!" Blake bites back.

"HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST- Oh way, you're actually right," I realize, much to my dismay.

Agh! I hate it when she's right all the time!

"Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted," Blake huffs.

"Confound it, Yang."

* * *

 **A/N: It's been two months. I'm still in college, but I'm still here! As stated before, my prime love is "Team WRBY" however I do hope to do a few more additions to this series. I currently, as of May 13th, 2015, have over 1600 emails notifying me of new followers, so I've pretty much lost control of being able to respond to everyone; although, I do make sure to respond to reviews, especially if they are constructive. For what it's worth, you all help make my life more livable. So, thank you.**


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